VISION

MISSION

TESTIMONY

Trust

My Trust in God is Bigger than MY Fear of the Unknown

Last night my husband John and I were talking about an area of our lives that is uncharted territory.   An area that has a lot of unknowns. We were talking about how there’s so much we don’t know, and quite honestly, the answers of what we should do are not always clear. Then these words came out of my mouth, “My trust in God is bigger than my fear of the unknown.”  At that moment, I recognized something.  I had a lot of confidence in that trust, but more importantly, that trust did not happen overnight!  

God has not said that we would not face unknown areas in our lives, He didn’t promise that we wouldn’t face fear, but He did tell us to TRUST Him!  He uses all of those difficult situations to BUILD our trust. He wants us to learn to rely on His Word and see that His character is true, and He is faithful! 

What it comes down to, is every time we face a difficult situation, every time we face something that may seem scary, we have a choice to choose whether we are going to trust Him, or whether we are going to choose fear.   It’s like exercising a muscle in our body.  Just like we have to exercise that muscle to increase muscle strength, we also have to exercise the “trust muscle” in our heart so we can learn to rely on Him a greater way.

The more we build that muscle and rely on Him, the more we will see His faithfulness and His guidance is available to us in every situation. The Bible is full of promises that He wants to reveal to us, and powerful truths that will help us build our faith in Him alone.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on our own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight.”  

Every time we face a situation, we have a choice to trust Him, or rely on our own very limited finite understanding.  I don’t want to be limited by my finite human understanding of a situation, do you?  I want my trust to be in Him so that He will guide me and show me the way.  

I want to encourage you to take every opportunity that you have to choose to trust, and learn to build that trust muscle in your heart.  The more you do it, the easier it gets.

Pray with me. Jesus, I ask that you lead me into the unknown and that I will learn trust in you. Help me learn to not let the wind and the waves of this world take my eyes off of you.  Amen. 

Drawing Near to God

Purpose in each season

Fall is my favorite time of year. Something inside of me stirs when I smell the crisp air in the morning and evenings. I love when August turns to September and I feel the familiar crunch of leaves as the trees start dropping them on the ground. I also love this weather because I am happiest in jeans and a light jacket with a cup of coffee in my hands, or out for a brisk walk or a jog with a sweatshirt on. It’s my happy comfortable place, and to me it’s Michigan.

I haven’t always lived in Michigan, in fact, John and I spent 10 years of our lives in San Francisco. It was a beautiful city and a fun time in our lives, but those 10 years flew by in a flash. It was a blur of years and seasons blended into one long decade. San Francisco has an average variation in temperature of about 10-12′ from January to December (approx 58′-70′), and is consistently foggy throughout the year. There was very little variation in the seasons, and to me all the seasons seemed to blend together. I longed for the seasons and the changes that we had in Michigan, the sense of newness and excitement that each transition held.

In San Francisco, I often felt lost in time. Christmas decorations were up when it was 60′ and foggy, which wasn’t much different than the rest of the year. I didn’t have the sense of preparation and transition leading up to celebrating Christmas like I did in Michigan, with the cold weather and snow. It was a relief to me when we moved back to Michigan and experience the change of seasons again! The seasons signaled newness and change, and it helped mark time and purpose in each season.

Seasons of Purpose
Just like the seasons of spring, summer, fall and winter signal newness and change because of the physical change in weather, God often leads us through different spiritual seasons in our lives that signal newness and change. Each season has different temperatures and the earth responds differently with the newness of spring, the heat of summer, the change of fall, and the cold of winter, and each has a different purposes of preparation for the next. The same is true for the spiritual season God takes us through, each has a different purposes of preparation for the next!

Perhaps you’ve felt like the spiritual temperature is changing in your life, maybe it’s been a dry season, or perhaps you are in a season that is full of joy or a season full of sorrow and grief. No matter what you experience in each season, we have to remember that there is purpose in it! Just like spring could not come without the season of winter and all that takes place underground in that season, God uses every season, even if we can’t see evidence of what’s to come in that moment. That is good news!

Don’t miss the season!
When I lived in San Francisco and had no measurable marker of the seasons as they went by, I often felt like I missed the purpose of the seasons I was in. In our spiritual lives, there is a danger in doing this and missing the season. I often cry out to God, “God, use it all!” All of the good and the bad. I don’t want anything to be wasted. God doesn’t want us to just float through without any sense of the purpose of what He is teaching us, and without surrendered hearts to trust Him to bring about His goodness! We should not be going through any season without learning and drawing deeper to God!

What did Jesus do?
What about the seasons that Jesus walked through, what example does he give us? What we see clearly is that Jesus recognized every season he was in, every single place of preparation, every place where he had a choice of obedience or not, every place of celebration and every place of grief. How did he do this? Jesus trusted God. In every step of obedience. Even when he was tested and tried and faced extraordinary difficulties.

Jesus understood seasons of PREPARATION. Jesus didn’t start his public ministry until he was 30, that must have taken great patience and intimacy with Father God to have stayed in that season of waiting! What about the wilderness? Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to eat nothing for 40 days and be tempted by the devil (Luke 4). How many of us would have given up and thought God had failed us? Let’s be honest here! But here’s the thing, he knew there was purpose in it, and in Luke 4:14 it says he returned in the power of the Spirit and THEN he begins his ministry. If only we could learn and trust God like that in our own lives right?! What kind of spiritual authority would we learn to walk in!?

Jesus understood seasons of CELEBRATION. Isn’t it amazing that his first physical miracle took place at a wedding celebration where he turned water into wine (John 2)? We also see many instances where he is eating and lounging with his disciples. He understands there is a time for joy and celebration and friendship! This is a part of God’s design for us, we can rest assured by Jesus’ example that it is important to have seasons of celebration and joy and community!

Jesus understood seasons of GRIEVING. Jesus was deeply moved and wept when his friend Lazarus died, even though he knew that he was going to raise him from the dead. That moves me SO much. Jesus knows the outcome, Lazarus will live! But he feels the pain and sorrow his friends are feeling over the loss, and he weeps (remember Hebrews 4:14, our high priest who sympathizes with us.). We also see him “sorrowful, even to death” in Matthew 26:38 at Gethsemane where his sweat became like drops of blood (Luke 22:44). He knew the hour that was at hand (Matthew 26:45). He asked Father God if it was possible to let this cup pass from him, but he was obedient in the season because he always ends with “not as I will, but as you will.” How many times do we complain to God in difficult moments instead of trusting Him and yielding to his will?

Do you trust God through the seasons?
No matter if you are in a season of preparation, celebration, or grieving, we can learn from Jesus. Ecclesiastes 3:1 MSG says, “There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:” And just like Jesus, the key for us is to stay close to God! We need to trust Him, and recognize, that indeed it is a season, and it will pass. Even if we don’t fully understand the purpose behind it in the moment (which often times we don’t) if we trust Him and remain close to Him, even in the most difficult seasons filled with trials and grief, we can have hope. Hope that he will lead us through it and he will use it!

Daughter of God, I pray you learn to cling to him and trust him. Learn to allow the Holy Spirit to lead you, even if it’s into and through difficult seasons of wilderness. I pray that you learn in seasons of celebration that it’s ok to grieve, and sometimes God wants us to stay there with us! I pray that you also learn it’s ok to have seasons of celebration, as long as your source of joy true joy and thankfulness is through HIM! But I promise you in all of these seasons, if you keep your eyes on him, you will come out of it in the power of the Spirit and with greater authority, and you WILL be ready for the next season. I pray you allow God to do the work He needs to do in your life, in every season! And remember…spring is coming!

Calling

My good plans, or God’s?

Jeremiah 29:11 is a very famous verse.  It says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  There is so much reassurance in this verse, there is so much hope we can hold onto – God, the God who created the universe, has GOOD plans for ME!  It is right to feel peace and hope in the good plans God has for each of our lives.  But what does it require of us?  

I am reminded of my 6-year old son, Luke, who has great plans for his life to be a firefighter.  And my 3-year old daughter Grace has plans to be a doctor.  Those are good plans for their lives, plans that could lead to hope and a future, but whether they are part of God’s plans or not – we will have to wait and see. The reality is, in America, we have so many choices and so many opportunities.  We are asking our children what they want to do and what they want to be from the time they are 2-years old.  But are our own good plans for our lives God’s good plans?  

In my own life, I have been a planner, goal oriented, and an achiever.  Since I was young I had no issue running after things in my life or reaching goals.  This eventually caught up with me though.  You see, if we want God’s good plans for our lives, we have to lay down our good plans for our lives.  We live in a culture filled with opportunities to make ourselves happy or take matters into our own hands.  But God can’t use a controlling achiever, or a controlling person who is addicted to finding things to make them happy (success, TV, alcohol, material possessions – whatever it may be).  God can only use someone who is submitted, heart, soul and mind (Matt. 22:37). 

Our definition of “good” and God’s definition of “good” are not the same.  Why?  Because God is the one who defines “good”.  He is the true source of GOOD (Ps. 100:5, Ps. 107:1, James 1:17, Rom. 8:28)!  So we can only know good in our lives by drawing closer to Him and allowing HIM to move and orchestrate HIS goodness in us.  

I personally reached a point in my life where God got a hold of me and revealed to me that I had been controlling the plans in my life.  They weren’t all bad, in fact – some of the things I wanted to control was the timing of certain callings God had on my life.  But the problem was I didn’t have a completely yielded heart to what HE wanted and WHEN HE wanted it.  If I didn’t relinquish control of HIS plans – many of HIS good plans would not come to pass.  It doesn’t mean He doesn’t love us and won’t care for us, but it does mean that he can’t use us in the way He would like to. And it means that we are stubborn and controlling people. Ouch.

You may not consider yourself in that category, but if you haven’t relinquished control to God, then there is some element of stubborn control in your heart.  Not good. We saw what happened to the Israelites trying to get to the promised land when they became a stubborn and controlling people, it ended up taking them much longer to see the promised land!  The same goes for us.  The longer we hold on to our own ideas, expectations, wants and desires and try to control our lives – the longer it takes for us to see God’s goodness and the promised land He has for you.  

My husband John and I went through a season of God teaching us this very lesson.  We had to submit, we had to yield.  Truthfully, it’s not always easy. We had to stop trying to control everything or “make things happen” – which had been a pattern we had lived for a season.  But, it was actually during that time of brokenness and submission before the Lord, yielding to His plans, that He began to reveal to us the pastoral call on our lives in a significant way.  We knew that He was leading us to completely lay it down before Him, not work at making it happen in any way, but completely trust Him and His timing.  

From that place of submission, God did bring about His plans – in a way that we could never have imagined.  As we recently stepped into the lead pastor position at our local church, it was unexpected and not how we had anticipated or would have planned, but that made a way for us to see that it was so clearly HIM orchestrating, His hand on it. And it was WAY BETTER than we could ever have planned for our lives.  You see, God loves to surprise and delight us with His goodness in our lives – when we are submitted.  And it’s in the season of waiting that we learn true trust in Him – that’s all He’s asking for.  SUBMIT your heart and TRUST me for my goodness.  

Sweet sister, I want to encourage you that this is a process. But He is with you in it! And once you see the fruit of God’s goodness spring up in your life after you have laid down your own personal ambitions and plans – you won’t look back. I will testify, His plans are SO much better than ours.

Have you been waiting to see God’s good plans unfold in your life?  All it starts is with an honest prayer.  God I lay down my expectations, my plans, and I ask for yours.  Then it takes action on your part.  Not the kind of action you may be used to, but an active action of submission. Not to try and move mountains on your own, but to keep actively laying down and trusting Him.  It’s the opposite of what we normally think the word action means, but in order to keep allowing His goodness, we have to actively be submitting.  

I promise that you will begin to see Him move in your life!  Stay in His Word, come before Him with thanksgiving and praise, and spend time with Him.  The God that holds the universe in your hand loves you and controls it all – release to Him the control over your life – he truly does have GOOD plans.  

Pray with me…Jesus, I release control over my life.  I don’t want my good plans, I want YOUR good plans.  Lead me and help me to continuously submit and yield to you.  Amen. 

Calling

NADZAM FAMILY UPDATE

Dear Friends,

This is a different kind of post than normal, but I have a very important family update…

John and I have some exciting news to share with you!  We are stepping into the role of Lead Pastors at our church, Antioch Community Church Ann Arbor. We are so excited about God’s amazing plans He is unfolding in our lives, and would love to share this journey with you. 

Our Journey
For many years, we have both felt that God has placed a pastoral call on our lives, however, we have felt that God was leading us to trust Him with HIS timing and to lay it down until He opened the doors for us. 

At the beginning of this year, we found out that our current lead pastors, Jordan and Christy Ogden, were stepping down from the role so they could move back to Texas to be closer to family. Jordan and Christy moved from Texas over 7 years ago after God called them to plant this church here, in Ann Arbor, MI.  

When our overseer team and board of advisors opened up the candidacy, the desire was to have a lead pastor with strong ties to Michigan, specifically a “son and daughter of Michigan.” 

At this point in the process, we (John and Jami) both felt that God was stirring our hearts. We spent a significant amount of time praying about God’s timing.  After much prayer, discussion – and many confirmations from the Lord, we submitted ourselves as candidates for the next Lead Pastors. 

We then went through a thorough interview process with our overseers and board of advisors and were moved forward and presented as the next Lead Pastors to the church on Sunday, May 30th, (you can watch the announcement here) and we will be ordained and installed on Sunday, June 27th

We are thrilled, humbled and overwhelmed at God’s plans for us, which are more than we could have ever imagined or orchestrated for ourselves (Eph. 3:20).  We are also so thankful that, in fact, He has called us here, to our home state of Michigan.  He is so good!   

What will this look like for our family and our church?   
At this time, we will be bi-vocational and John will continue with his current job. Given the current size of our church and our strong leadership team, we feel confident in our ability to do so. This will open up opportunities for our church in other ways, such as allowing more finances for a new building – which we need very much, since we have been without an “official” meeting space since COVID.  

We will also operate as a pastoral team, both leading and teaching at the church, and we truly believe God’s grace and favor will be on us during this season of John being bi-vocational to help us do all things well.  

How can you partner with us?
You can PRAY! 

  • Please pray for us as we transition into this role, that God would lead us in wisdom and give us the ability to follow the direction and vision he has for HIS church.  
  • Please pray for our church congregation during this transition. 
  • Please pray that God will provide our church with a new facility to meet in!  We are currently blessed to meet outside at a local ranch, but have a goal to have a new facility by September so we can get settled in before the weather changes. 
  • Please pray for our family (John, Jami, Luke and Grace) that God would continue to lead us in the calling He has for our lives.  This is part of Luke and Grace’s story too, as we believe God will train them up for the individual plans He has for each of them.  
  • Pray for God’s plans for HIS church here in Ann Arbor.  We believe for BIG things to come!

Please join us! 
If you would like to join us on June 27th (10 AM EST) when we are ordained and installed, you can join us in person, or tune in on Antioch Ann Arbor’s Facebook page for livestream, or Youtube channel. 

https://www.facebook.com/AntiochA2

AntiochA2 Youtube

We love you all, and are so thankful for your friendship and prayers!  Thank you for joining us on this journey! 

Love and Blessings in Christ,

John, Jami, Luke and Grace Nadzam 

PS – We would love to chat with you and share more about this journey!  Feel free to reach out and ask questions! 

Fear the Lord

Fear the Lord, NOT Man

The Bible tells us over and over again to fear the Lord.  But what does it really mean to “fear the Lord”?  Our understanding of the word fear is usually associated with a feeling of being scared or frightened.  My three year old daughter is starting to understand what it means to be afraid or to be scared, and we are guiding her and teaching her to not be afraid because God is with us!  “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

But the fear of the Lord is a very different kind of fear.  It is not the same fear we had as little children who are afraid of the dark or new things, it is a reverent fear of awe and wonder and honor before God.  It is a fear that God has commanded us to have.  He also tells us to walk in his ways, love him and serve him, but we are only able to do these things if we first fear Him.  If we put Him above all else!

Deuteronomy 10:12 ESV says, “And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul.”

Recently, the Lord showed me, through a challenging situation, what it means to fear Him above all else. I was in a conversation with someone that was handled poorly by the other person, and I picked up an offense. The days following the conversation, the offense I had picked up really affected my mind, and started to consume it in ways that were unhealthy.  I continually tried to lay this down before the Lord, but was struggling to do so, until He finally said, “Jami, you’re placing that person above me and they have become an idol to you.”  I was shocked.  How could I have placed this person as an idol before the Lord? As I processed what He revealed to me, I heard Him say, “They are consuming your thoughts and you have allowed them to have a higher place in your mind and have given them power over you. You are fearing man above God.”  

This was a new revelation to me.  That by allowing my mind to be consumed by the offense I had picked up, I was actually placing them above God and I was fearing them. I had literally given them power over me, and the Lord was right, they had become an idol in my mind over the Lord!  When we think of idols in our lives, it’s often addictive things like our phone or television, things that take away our time and that we put above our time with him.  But this same rule applies to what consumes our mind too, if you’ve allowed someone to have control over your mind more than the Lord, they have become an idol to you.  

Proverbs 14:27 says, “The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, that one may turn away from the snares of death.”  

How easily I had turned to the snares of death by allowing my mind to be consumed by this offense!  But if I place the Lord in his rightful place and fear Him above man, it’s a fountain of life, from which His love and power flows in my life!  If I truly feared the Lord I wouldn’t allow someone else to have that place of authority over me instead of the Lord. 

I believe as women, we can get caught up in the practice of easily being offended by other women.  It’s one of the enemy’s tactics used to cause conflict, gossip and unhealthy environments, that ultimately will bring death to those who are in it.  That’s the thing too, this kind of death spreads and affects the environments around you and the people in it.  Not good. The death we are talking about is in every sense the opposite of the abundant life that we are given through Jesus.

If we aren’t fearing the Lord above others it brings the snares of death and will consume our minds with offenses that weigh us down and trap us. We’ve placed something or someone above Him, and it’s become an idol.  Fearing the Lord brings a fountain of life, and with that fountain of life comes freedom.  We have placed the Lord in his rightful place and can walk in confidence, laying down offenses.  We will do as it says in Deuteronomy 10:12, “…walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul.”

So how about you, daughter of God? Do you fear the Lord or do you fear man?  Ask Him to bring to mind any offenses you have picked up that has allowed someone to have a place of authority over your mind. Has someone become an idol over God in your life because of the amount of time you spend thinking about how they have wronged you?

Pray with me. Father, please reveal to me if there is anyone I have placed above you and if there are any offenses I need to lay down.  Help me to fear you above all.  Amen. 

Identity

A house that is not shaken

The Lord is my rock, my salvation and my fortress, I will not be shaken.” Psalm 62:2

We live in a charming 1925 Dutch Colonial.  It’s as beautiful and charming on the inside as it is on the outside.  Original oak hardwood floors, original trim, tall ceilings.  It’s truly magical. Old homes take my breath away, they truly do.  There’s something about the craftsmanship and the wood detail that I can’t get over.  We’ve lived in our home for 5 years now and we have lovingly made it our own. 

Alas, with that beautiful charm and character that takes my breath away, is almost 100 years of surprises and fixes hidden in those walls.  Our home was a bit deceptive with it’s newly refinished floors and updated kitchen and bath.  What could go wrong?  I had already planned out our “happily ever after” in this house. I had all of my decorating endeavors mapped out on Pinterest.  However, it didn’t take long to learn that the old knob and tube wiring that, during inspection, we thought was only in a small percentage of the home, was actually throughout the majority.  Ouch. Not the safe home we imagined to raise our family in. And not only was it a costly project, but it is a messy long process that requires lots of holes drilled into your ceilings and walls to rerun all the electrical.  With plaster walls what that means is dust, dust, and more dust.  Everywhere. 

It seemed that our list of “surprise, you live in an old house!” projects grew very quickly, much to my dismay.  I begrudgingly set some of my decorating projects aside as we slowly chipped away at the necessary, though not as fun projects. 

The most recent surprise was a leak in the foundation of approximately one third of our finished and carpeted basement.  This leak had more than likely been taking place for months, if not years before we caught it.  We had noticed a musty smell for a while but summed it up to a Michigan basement in the winter. It wasn’t until I stepped in the corner of the room and my foot sank in sopping wet carpet that we knew we had a serious problem.  Yikes. By this point, not only did we have multiple leaks, but we had mold.  The bad kind.  

The remediation of our basement required not only a professional mold company to come out right away and take care of the mold issue, but it required multiple layers of removing walls, framing, assessing damage, talking to professionals, seeking out the best solution, and it required us living with the items we normally hide in our storage room in our main basement living area.  Everything was exposed.  The old not so pleasant interior of almost 100 year old walls, the leaks, the electrical wires, and all of our stuff that’s normally hidden away in storage.  It was a large mess which has taken well over a year (many thanks to you, COVID, for increasing that timeline) to fix.  

As we were going through this process of fixing our house, Jesus told me, “Jami, you’re not unlike this house.”  I pondered what he was speaking to me through this.  Some years back, the Lord had taken me through a major renovation of my heart.  “The Excavation of My Heart” project, I like to call it.  I literally asked the Lord to “Excavate my heart.”  And he did!  There were some major identity pieces in my heart that he had to align and set on the proper foundation.  It was not fun, and it took a lot of surrendering to Him and it yielded a lot of messiness exposed, but it was worth it. Why? Because it brought healing, restoration, and in turn a massive amount of fruit to come forth in my life.

So here I was, Jesus telling me I was like our house with all of its basement mess exposed. But…I was solid…so I thought.  The truth was, I was solid just like I thought our house had been. It all appeared to be in good condition, and truly, had had a significant amount of renovation done over the years. And truly, He’d equally done such a great work of renovation in my heart!  And He had, it was true! 

But then a storm came, and I realized He had been right. I was shaken.  I saw areas that I’d thought had been healed or on solid foundation greatly shaken. “Lord!”, I had cried.  “I don’t understand, you already took me through the healing process and restoration process in this area, why am I facing this storm right now?”  “Jami, yes, you have gone through a healing process, and your foundation is strong.  But your windows are leaking and you have some structural issues I want to fix. The storm you are in is exposing those areas. Are you willing to surrender to the master carpenter and allow me to continue the good work of restoration in your heart?”  

You see, God is continually trying to improve and heal our hearts. Philippians 1:6 says, “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” He wants to make us strong.  Fix our “leaky windows”, our “structural issues”, our “knob and tube wiring”, or even worse, our “leaky basements with mold!”.  He wants to take all the hidden things in our hearts that we’ve hidden behind beautiful walls, oak wood floors and Pinterest worthy decorations, and he wants to expose the mess behind it.  All those leaks that have been there for years.  My friends, the longer they are there, the messier it is.  The higher chance of mold and a BIGGER job of restoration or our heart.  Could it be that the storms you are facing are actually opportunities for God to show you what needs to be fixed? 

The thing I’ve learned in this process, over and over again, is that He always asks permission.  “Are you willing to allow me to take this wall out?”  “Will you let me fix this area of your life?”  And, are you willing to submit to Him, and allow Him to point out all the areas of exposure when the storm comes? No one wants to be living in a moldy house.  Likewise we shouldn’t allow mold and water damage to remain in our hearts.  

Those storms you may be facing right now, are they exposing the areas He wants to fix in your life? Are you willing to withstand the renovation, no matter how long and messy it may get, so that he can do his master work as the master carpenter of your heart?  

Pray with me.Jesus, I ask you to help me trust you, that every storm that comes my way is an opportunity for you to show me an area you would like to fix in my life. I choose to surrender and I say yes to your good work.”  Philippians 1:6 

Your Voice

The prayers of his daughters

Dear Daughter of God, 

As we look at what’s going on around us in our nation and the world, I know it can feel like so much is out of our hands.  BUT, we have to remember whose hands it IS in.  The hands of God. 

“In his hand are the depths of the earth’ the heights of the mountains are his also. The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land.” Psalm 95:4-5  

And though we are citizens of heaven (Phil. 3:20) and seated in heavenly places with Christ (Eph. 2:6), we have been commissioned strategically for our assignment here, to bring forth the Kingdom of God.  God chose you to be here on this earth, “…for such a time as this.” (Esther 4:14). There is another part of Esther 4:14 that we don’t always hear quoted though, it is – “For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place…”

It can be easy to feel like we don’t have a significant place of influence, like we don’t have an avenue to make change, but we DO! Apostle Paul says in Ephesians 6, that we are to put on the whole armor of God to withstand in the evil day, and to PRAY AT ALL TIMES.  Numerous moves of God were started by intercessors and prayer warriors who would not give up.  God is sovereign over all (1 Chronicles 16:31), but he wants us to PARTNER with him.  He doesn’t just want to do things FOR us, he wants to do things THROUGH us.  

So Daughter of God, you may feel like you have no influence, no place of action.  But you do.  God gave you a voice that can be heard by the most important audience – HIM!  Don’t just assume that the “relief and deliverance” of God’s people will arise from somewhere else. YOU were called to pray “for such a time as this“!

  • To the mother of the infant child, up at all hours of night – use those hours you are up to PRAY! 
  • To the busy mother of a family, with chores and laundry never ending – as you go throughout your day doing chores and caring for your family – PRAY!
  • To the single woman who is finding her place in this world – PRAY!
  • To the working mother who feels like you never have enough time – turn off social media and take your lunch break to PRAY! 
  • To the student who feels like you have no place of influence, you do! As you walk through your campus –  PRAY!  
  • To the empty nester and grandmothers who don’t have children in home anymore – PRAY! 

We know that when we pray in accordance to his will, things CHANGE! 
“And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.” 1 John 5:14-15

Daughter of God, you do have influence, you have influence over the creator of the heavens and the earth. And you ARE heard. You are heard by the great “I AM”. You are making a difference, when we of God humble themselves before God, he will hear from heaven and he will heal our land! (2 Chronicles 7:14).

Identity

I Am Good

We’ve all had those moments.  The moment we look at someone else and see that they are better at or gifted in an area that we are not, and those old feelings of inadequacy rise.  This happened to me recently.  As I took my feelings of inadequacy to the Lord, somewhat baffled that I was having these feelings in the first place, I felt the Lord say, “Jami, I have declared you GOOD!”  It stopped me in my tracks, as a flood of assurance poured through my mind and heart. A reminder, that God has declared me GOOD (Genesis 1:31).  

He reminded me that it is in the image of God that I am made (Gen. 1:26).  It was after the completion of creation, after the final piece was created, woman, when God said over creation, it is “very good”.  As daughters of God, we need to understand this.  God has declared us, “very good.”  As I contemplated the fact that God has declared me good, and let it sink in, God brought forth a flood of reminders of all the things within me that truly are good. My giftings, talents, personality – all things that are meant to reflect part of Him and point people to Him. After all, I am created in His image, so the things within me that he has specifically designed for me, reflect Him. Things, that are necessary for me to complete the purposes God has for me on this earth.

God has designed each of us uniquely and specifically for a purpose.  Ephesians 2:10 says, “I am God’s workmanship, created for good works.”  You see, the deeper our revelation of our identity in Christ and of who God created us to be, and His “good works” He has for us, the more confident we can be in the “goodness” of His design!  I don’t need to feel inadequate because I understand that every part of who God created me to be, His workmanship – my personality, my giftings, my strengths, they all are for a reason.  And it is GOOD!  Are we all a work in process? Yes! But we can be confident that He who began a good work in us will complete it (Philippians 1:6)!

Once we understand this, we have freedom to walk it out and be who He designed me to be, without allowing those feelings of inadequacy to linger, we can truly take them captive (2 Corinthians 10:5) and counter them with the TRUTH. I am good. I am very good.  My Father, my creator says so. The more I do this, the less those feelings and voices even consider popping into my head, and the sooner I can combat them with truth. 

Because, as a daughter of God, I know what my Father says, and I can declare the truth. I do not fear because He has not given me a spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7).  I am free from condemnation (Romans 8:1-2).  I know that He works all things together for good (Romans 8:28).  He wove me together in my mother’s womb.  Bit by bit.  Piece by piece.  (Psalm 139:13)  He has good works for me, and has made me a masterpiece, a beautiful workmanship that He has designed, perfectly to fit His good works He has for me (Ephesians 2:10). 

So you see, I am good.  My personality is good.  My voice is good.  My talents and giftings are good.  Because He says so.  Because the master designer, the Alpha and Omega, the one who holds the world in His palm.  He says so, and it is HIS VOICE alone that I will hear.  The voice of my Father.

I pray that YOU also will hear his voice and know that YOU, daughter of God, you are good. Your Father says so.

Identity

A letter to my 18 year old self (20 YEARS LATER)

Dear 18-year-old Self, 

20 years have gone by. At 18 I thought 38 seemed painfully old, but now my perspective on that has changed drastically (and thankfully)! So much has happened. I’ve gone through some very painful experiences and some extraordinarily beautiful experiences.  

For many years I had regrets and shame over some of my decisions and choices in my past, but I don’t any more because Jesus has truly shown me what it means to be white as snow.  His blood is enough.  I also know God’s love is greater than any hurt or pain, and His love is now the only and one true thing that defines me. The only thing I look back on now is a longing of how amazingly free and confident I could have been if I would have understood these things much sooner.  

So it is with nostalgia that I write to you, my-18-year-old self. I want you to know what’s coming in the years ahead, as God continues to be faithful in pouring out His love and setting you free to become His true daughter.  

And I pray that these words will bring freedom to many other women (young and old alike), who are trapped in a place of insecurity and hurts.  It’s to you also I share this list.  Know these things are possible! May God’s love pour through these words to your innermost being, and no matter what age you are, I want you to know – it’s not too late for freedom.  

  1. You are extraordinarily beautiful.  Those feelings when you look in the mirror and dislike what you see.  Those feelings that you aren’t beautiful enough. Those thoughts that come and pick apart what you see in the mirror.  Your nose is always wrong.  You can never measure up to those around you.  You are too tall.  There’s something wrong with you.  Those thoughts are LIES.  They are from the enemy.  Oh sweet girl, if only you knew you are SO extraordinarily beautiful.  Know it’s possible!  That someday you will look in the mirror and you will start to see yourself how God sees you!  You will even learn to like yourself and celebrate yourself.  You will learn how he hand crafted your nose, your body, everything about you, and you will be so thankful he made you to look exactly as you do.  The things you dislike now, you will learn to love, because God loves those features about you. You will learn it’s a celebration of worship before God to be able to stand before him and say, God, you have made me fearfully and wonderfully, and I truly believe it (Psalm 139)!  And you will be free!  No more comparison or feelings of inferiority.  It’s possible, sweet girl.  
  1. God loves you UNIQUELY.  Understanding God’s love is a lifelong journey, but know that his love for you is UNIQUE.  This is important! You are his unique and treasured masterpiece. His love for his treasures knows no end, but for you precious girl, his love is unique.  He loves you uniquely different than he loves anyone else.  How could he possibly love all his unique pieces of creation exactly the same? Not more or less, but uniquely.  He loves your voice.  He loves to hear you talk.  He loves your beautiful features. He loves the uniqueness of your personality.  He loves to see the choices you make and the things you like. You make him smile and laugh, and He sings His song of delight over you (Zephaniah 3:17). Learn to rest in the unique love He has for you. Just for you.  As you continue to understand this love, it will continue to bring you freedom.  Layer by layer. 
  1. You will be hurt. It’s going to happen. It’s a part of life.  Some of life’s circumstances will be extremely painful and hard.  Some hurts you receive from others will be extremely painful and hard to navigate.  And the pain will be real.  But you will learn that God’s love is bigger than your pains. Always. You will learn to rely on His love.  It will overflow more and more in your life until all your pains and hurts have been so overcome with the power of His love that He truly will bring good from the pain. The Bible says that God works all things together for good (Romans 8:28), and it’s truly possible because of His love seeping into your life and overflowing in every part of your being.  Beauty for ashes (Isaiah 61:3). The past doesn’t disappear, but His love goes above and beyond.  His love will make you a victor.  His love will make you stand in confidence.  His love gives you the power to forgive.  
  1. You are not what people think of you or what people have done to you. Being concerned about what people think of you seems like the norm now.  But it won’t be.  You will learn what it is like to live before an audience of one.  His love makes it possible.  The words of others will start to fall away. It’s possible through Jesus, he is your shield. He absorbs all sin, all wrongdoings towards you.  Also, what people have done to you does not define you.  Precious daughter, hear this!  It’s not who you are.  That is a tactic the enemy loves to use to blind you.  The enemy clothes you with the shame of other people’s mistakes.  No my sweet girl. That’s not the clothing of a daughter of the most high God.  You, you are clothed in strength and dignity (Proverbs 31).  You will understand this and you will start to walk upright in His clothing for you, not what someone else puts on you.  
  1. Your value doesn’t rely on a boy’s interest in you.  I know it can seem really important to have a boy like you or show interest in you right now.  I know it can make you feel pretty or valued.  I know it feels like it has the power to make you feel on cloud 9 or to feel heartbroken. But I want you to know that your value and worth is not dependent on any boy liking you or disliking you.  Whether that is now as a teenager, in 10 years, or 10 years into your future marriage. You will learn that you are valued by your heavenly father no matter how you are treated by a man or even if you are noticed by a man. You will learn that it is an extraordinary gift to have a good husband and it’s part of God’s beautiful design, but the true beauty of your relationship with your husband will only come forth when you understand your true worth in the eyes of your Heavenly Father.  You want a man who treasures you because you are a treasure to God.  Don’t ever settle for less. And if that man has not walked into your life, God will be enough (Isaiah 54:5).  
  1. You don’t have to change who you are to be liked.  It can be so easy to feel like an outsider.  I know right now you feel that way often.  You are wondering and trying to figure out who you are and where you fit in.  It’s normal to want to be liked.  But don’t change who you are to achieve this.  Don’t change who you are to try and fit in.  Don’t change what you believe to fit in.  Don’t compromise your faith.  If you have to change who you are to be liked, it’s not worth it.  As you age, you will understand it’s better to be true to who God made you to be – all the time.  There is a reason he made you the way he did. He has chosen you to be set apart.  You are not to walk in the ways of the world.  He has called you forth for his good purposes. That means you are NOT like everyone else!  That means there is a reason you feel like you don’t fit in.  He has not made a mistake on who he made you to be, and you will start to understand this someday soon.   As his purpose unfolds before you, your understanding of how he designed you will be confirmed. 
  1. There is a lie that tells you girls have to be sweet to be liked. You’ve started walking in a world of passivity because you have believed that you have to be sweet.  All the time.  This has created a mindset in you of passivity.  Of fear. It’s very confusing. You feel if you stand up or show confidence as the leader God designed you to be, you won’t be liked. You’ll offend someone. This is a lie. You can be kind and gentle and nurturing as a woman, yet have full confidence and authority in who God made you to be. You can speak in confidence and authority in the voice he gave you! The voice of a daughter of a king.  A princess with access to the Kingdom of God. You will know who you are, and you will not walk or talk in passivity.  
  1. Don’t buy into the world’s agenda for women.  The world has many things to say about what a woman should look like, dress like, do with her body, and what your “women’s rights” should be.  You will be attacked if you don’t go along with this ideology, but remain strong.  I want you to know you don’t have to be masculine to be heard in this world. You also don’t have to gain attention in this world by dressing your body sexually. I want you to know Jesus is your redeemer.  He is the true advocate for women. What the world offers is a counterfeit to what Jesus came to bring women. Jesus is the one who spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well and spoke true identity and freedom to her.  Jesus is the one who commended Mary of Bethany who sat at his feet, a position in that culture that was exclusively saved for a man.  Jesus was the one who saw every woman that came to him and truly saw her and set her free.  Jesus broke the curse.  You are a beloved daughter of the King and it’s His power through you that will bring forth your confidence and your voice to do all he has called you to, as a woman.  You don’t have to change your femininity and you do not have to be ashamed of being a woman. You are not a lesser being than men. The reflection of God is in youYou are created in His image.  

Hold tight to these things, allow Him to breath them into your heart and your innermost being. Stay strong in Him and declare His goodness and faithfulness daily.  Let it be your heart’s cry.  Because He is so good and He is so faithful.  

Identity

Celebrating the fruit

I have a dream that I believe is possible for women.  I believe that we can all come to a place completely free of comparison and jealousy.  I believe that we can live in confidence and peace in exactly who God made us. I believe we can learn to stop looking at those around us and stop being jealous of the fruit that we see in someone else’s life and learn to continuously abide in Jesus. I believe through Him, we can do this, and be so completely fulfilled by Jesus that we are free of feelings of inferiority to those around us.  If we do this, we will each produce an abundance of the unique fruit God wants to produce in our lives.  And I believe this dream is possible because of how far He’s brought me free from comparison, insecurity and jealousy.  And I know it’s only possible through abiding in Jesus.  

John 15 gives us this beautiful image of Jesus describing Himself as the vine and we are the branches.  Father God is the vinedresser and prunes us so we can produce more fruit.  In the literal grape vine, the pruning allows the sap to run to the healthy branches instead of the feeble or sickly branches.  This illustrates how Father God prunes us of the bad and sickly branches which allows the power of Jesus to run through us, just like that sap, and it brings the potency of Jesus to the fruit being produced. 

We all have a unique combination of fruit that God wants to bring forth, just like each grape cluster is unique and full, God wants us ALL to produce unique fruit that’s full in our lives!  We all should be producing the fruit of the Holy Spirit, but God has also given each of us different giftings. We’ve also all walked through different experiences, that through abiding in Jesus in all of these experiences and circumstances, brings forth fruit to feed those around us.  He has people for you that YOU need to reach with the fruit that He wants to produce in your life. But we have to heed to John 15, and recognize that without abiding in Jesus, we can do nothing.

Stages to Produce Fruit 
Unlike a literal grape vine that has no choice when the vinedresser comes to prune, we have a choice if we are going to submit our hearts to God and yield to this process. He needs to prune us. It’s the first stage. It’s the hardest stage. It’s messy, and at times it’s painful. But it’s necessary.  Without the pruning we have no blossoms.   

Next comes the blossoms. One thing that’s interesting about the grape is the blossoms are not very memorable.  They are a small white flower that requires you to get close to the branch to see.  That’s exactly what the blossoming stage is like in our lives.  It’s a sign to us, and those close to us, to see what’s to come!  It’s an absolutely necessary stage, and it tells us that, YES, the fruit is COMING! I believe it’s important that the grape blossom isn’t what’s memorable about the grape, unlike the apple blossom or cherry blossom.  Because what’s memorable about the grape is the grape

The last stage is the fruit!  God wants us to produce fruit in fullness in our lives, just like a grape cluster!  Each fruit that’s produced in our lives is intended to bring someone around us closer to Jesus.  It’s all intended to feed the kingdom of God!  It’s not the blossom that feeds the kingdom of God, it’s the fruit that’s produced through abiding in Jesus through each stage. 

Feed My Sheep 
In John 21:15-17, Jesus has a memorable conversation with Peter.  “When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” He said to him a second time, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “ Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, Tend my sheep.  He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.”

If we LOVE Jesus, we will abide in Him.  If we abide in Him, we will produce the fruit needed to feed his sheep.  Because it’s not just about us is it?  Every sphere, every circle that you are in, every people group you’re called to, every relationship, God wants to produce fruit in your life to feed those around you.  A sign of HIM!  

If we LOVE Jesus, we will abide in Him.  If we abide in Him, we will produce the fruit needed to feed his sheep.

Your VOICE is a pathway to fruitfulness.
Your ACTIONS are pathways to fruitfulness. 
Your ATTITUDE is a pathway to fruitfulness.

They’re just words and actions aren’t they?  Until you abide in Jesus and He’s in you, then they are potent words and actions that bring LIFE to those around you!  You have no idea what someone is going through and the life that your words or how your actions can truly demonstrate the potency and power of Jesus through you.  

Why do we compare? 
So why do we walk in comparison and jealousy of those around us that are producing fruit?  The answer is it is only through feelings of inadequacy that we start to compare.  If we truly abide (the Greek word for Abide means remain) in Jesus and have Father God, the vinedresser, prune from our lives on a regular basis, we won’t feel inadequate.  Jesus IS enough and through him we see our value and our true identity. If we don’t abide (remain) in him consistently and if we also let the lies of the enemy in, we start to feel inadequate!  

The enemy loves to whisper things like, “You aren’t as qualified as they are.”  “They are so much more talented than you.”  “They are so much prettier than you.”  “They are a better mom than you.”  “You aren’t doing your job well.”  “You should stop trying, you’ll never measure up.”  “They have their life together and your life is a mess.”  “Why did you think you could even try?  You should just give up.”  “Remember that huge mistake you made years ago?”  Do any of these sound familiar? It can be never ceasing until we learn to take our thoughts captive to obey Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5), and you can only do that when you remain in him.  

But here’s the problem with jealousy amongst women who are following Christ. ARE we truly going to be jealous of the fruit in someone else’s life that is produced by Jesus in them to feed his sheep? Because that is exactly what the enemy wants us to do.  To compare ourselves and to feel inadequate, which turns to jealousy.  Jealousy is a bitter bad fruit that will lead to bitter rotten fruit in our life, and will block good fruit from growing.  

God has called us to be women who celebrate when another is producing fruit in her life!  To rejoice that the fruit that God has brought forth that will feed many in the kingdom of God!!  Remember, the final stage is the only one that’s evident to everyone. The FRUIT!  We didn’t see all that happened behind the scenes as that person abided in Jesus, allowed the pruning to happen. We didn’t see the difficult seasons where they clung to Jesus with all they had and were refined and pruned until the gold and bountiful fruit burst forth in their life.  Most of us didn’t see the blossoming season when those small blossoms were signs of what was to come.  Every piece of fruit Jesus produces in our lives has a story to tell.  

Every piece of fruit Jesus produces in our lives has a story to tell.  

Don’t allow comparison to steal what God wants to do in your own life.  He has fruit he wants to produce in YOU that’s intended to feed someone!  Someone in your sphere, in your circles, needs what God is going to bring forth in your life.  You’ll be able to say to someone who is going through a difficult time,  “I’ve been there!  But look at what God did in my life!  He is so good!”  And you will bring forth a testimony and declare His goodness!  You will bring forth the fruit of what he has brought you through, and someone else needs that fruit from you to point them to Jesus!  

Fruit feeds the kingdom of God.  Let’s not be women who are jealous of the ones around us who are bearing much fruit in this season.  Let’s learn from them. Instead of jealousy, let’s be women who start asking the story of the fruit in their lives!  I guarantee you, there will be a story that you can learn from.  If we learn to do these things, and remain in Jesus, we can be women who live in freedom, full confidence, free of jealousy, and free of resentment.  Women with an abundance of fruit, many different varieties, many different arrangements of clusters, and many different colors, that will feed the kingdom of God. 

Identity

I am marvelously made!

This week, I celebrated my 38th birthday. The eve of my birthday, I was praying and had an abundant sense that the heavens were celebrating over my birth and over the plans God had for my life and how they are coming into fruition. In that moment, a sense of God’s delight in me overflowed from my heart and permeated my entire being. It was the best birthday gift I have ever received.

In the morning, when I woke, that sense of joy and God’s delight and celebration in me was still so evident, that I did something I’ve never done quite in this way before. I paused and took time to pray and thank God for making me. I celebrated with Him over my birth and His beautiful design of me. I felt an abundance of joy as I meditated on who He’s designed me to be. My personality, my giftings, the way I look and my physical appearance, and I rejoiced over how each and every year, He’s significantly transformed me to becoming more and more like the daughter of the King that I am designed to be. And so, I celebrated!  It’s been a JOURNEY! 

It’s not that I don’t have flaws. It’s not that I don’t mess up. Of course I do!  But I don’t dwell on my flaws or mistakes anymore. They don’t drag me down. They don’t propel me into a flurry of comparison, insecurity, or shame. And, without a doubt, I know that with any flaw I have, one of two things will happen:  

  • First, if Jesus needs to make a change, I only have to submit to Him and He will bring forth something good in place of the flaw. He’ll bring forth fruit, wisdom, and strength! He will teach me and grow me. He’s done it before and he’ll do it again. He’s not done with me yet! 
  • Second, it may only be my perspective that makes it appear as a flaw.  There are many perspectives I’ve had of my body and my personality over the years that I perceived was flawed in some way, when in fact, it was actually the perspective that was flawed, not my body or my personality!  

I smile with endearment at some of my “flaws” on my physical body now and rejoice that they tell the story of victory in my life!  My faint stretch marks on my belly and cesarean section scar (2x!)  give testimony of victory over years of infertility.  They testify to God’s provision in my life and tell the story of God’s promises fulfilled with the most incredible gift of my two children!  The early evidence of wrinkles around my eyes speak wisdom and experience. I look back on trials and challenges and think to myself, “Well, that’s where that wrinkle came from!”  But I’m proud of my journey and what God has brought me through.  I no longer look at my life and think “I’ve wasted time” or have shame over mistakes, instead I look at victories and promises fulfilled. I look at all that I’ve conquered through Jesus!  I look at my life as a testimony of God’s goodness!  

I think back to my  junior high and high school self, and the insecurity and uncertainty that followed me. At the time, having only a slight understanding of who God really made me to be. I shake my head thinking, “If only my younger self knew how beautiful she was.”  I can’t even imagine how it would have changed things. But more than anything, “If only my younger self had known it was even possible, and how it was possible, through Jesus, to walk in this much confidence!”  If only I had known, that salvation actually meant freedom – freedom to be me. I had loved Jesus, but I had not understood this part of the freedom that salvation through Jesus Christ brings. The freedom to be unapologetically me is actually necessary to accomplish the work He has for me.  

If only I had known, that salvation actually meant freedom – freedom to be me.

Here’s the beauty of it all.  At 38 years old, God has brought me to a place of confidence where I can truly love myself.  And like myself. Why?  Not out of vanity.  Not out of pride.  Out of a place of rejoicing and admiring His handiwork!  I rejoice and admire His handiwork of His creation that surrounds me all the time, and stare with admiration and praise at the beautiful work of His hand.  I gaze at the vibrant changing trees of this fall season, I ponder the creativity behind the stunning harvest moon. I watch my two children explore with wonder at God’s creation and I get to see it through the eyes of children again!  My heart sings and cries out to our incredible God, at the wonder of His work.  Why should I also not celebrate with him and admire his handiwork in creating me?  

Psalm 139:11-16 (MSG) 
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
    you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
    Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
    I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
    you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
    how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
    all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
    before I’d even lived one day.

What fascinates me about this passage is this.  First, David the author of this Psalm, acknowledges that, yes, God made him, inside and out!  Then, he worships God and tells Him that He is breathtaking! Next, he says, body and soul, I am marvelously made!  I worship in adoration – what a creation!  He’s acknowledging God and worshipping Him, then admiring God’s handiwork, of himself!  “High God—you’re breathtaking!” He says, and in the next breath, “I am marvelously made!”  How often do you worship and rejoice in God because of his handwork in making you?  Have you ever actually told God, “I am marvelously made?”  

How often do you worship and rejoice in God because of his handwork in making you?  Have you ever actually told God, “I am marvelously made?”  

You see, it’s not about vanity or pride. It’s about confidence in Him. His ability to bring about in you exactly who he designed you to be! It’s about worshipping the God who fashioned us from nothing.  It’s about seeing yourself in how He sees you.  Not the distorted view that many of us see. And, it’s about knowing that this is possible!  It’s also about knowing that there is freedom from whatever is taking away from you being able to see you truly are marvelously made. God made us more beautiful and marvelous than our minds can even fathom.  God does not make mistakes. God does not mess up in his design.  It truly becomes an act of worship to be able to come before God and say, “I am marvelously made!”  

He chose your gender.  He chose your height.  He chose your eye color, hair color, skin color.  He fashioned your nose, your mouth, your ears.  He created your personality, and He delights over it!  He doesn’t want you to be like anyone else. That actually grieves His heart when we feel like we need to be like someone else.  All of your giftings have a purpose.  Do not let admiration of someone else’s giftings turn to jealousy or comparison that will rob you of what God wants to do through you.  There is more that He wants to do with your personality and giftings than you can ever imagine.  

I have watched with wonder over the years, as through Jesus the confidence in myself grew and flourished – my body, my personality, my giftings – my circle of influence has increased, and I start to see why God made me the way He did.  The reason is this, He has something that only I, with exactly how he created me to be (personality and giftings), can do!  It’s not vanity, it’s not pride, it’s confidence in the God of creation, who knit me in my mother’s womb (Psalm 139:11) and has such good plans for my life (Jeremiah 29:11) He has the same for you my friend!  

Can you imagine, an army of women standing before God, declaring that, “I am marvelously made?!” How powerful that would be to defeat the work of the enemy and the lies he feeds women! What a mighty act of worship that would be unto God! Psalm 68:11 says, “The Lord gives the word; the women who announce the news are a great host“. Let’s be women who announce the news that we truly are a marvelous creation!

My challenge to you is this.  Allow yourself to believe that it is possible for you to love yourself and celebrate who God made you to be. Will it be a process?  Yes.  But I stand before you, 38 years old, and am so incredibly grateful for how far he’s brought me, but at the same time, also recognize that in another 10 years, he’ll have brought me into a greater dimension and fullness of confidence in who he created me to be that I have yet to imagine is possible!  His work is never complete.  It’s never too late for Him.  Come before Him today and just take one step.  Choose just one thing that you can celebrate about yourself, and stand before God in confidence, worshipping Him, and say, “I am marvelously made!”  

Drawing Near to God

Clean hands and a pure heart

I’ve been soaking myself in the psalms lately. Something about the deep cry of the heart, the honest searching and longing from the depths of the Psalms is entirely where my heart has been. Strangely enough, it’s not a book of the Bible that I’ve spent months dwelling mainly in before. The heart wrenching cries for God, exalting Him, praising Him, these beautiful hymns bring soothing to the heart, as the ancient writings from the 10th to 5th century BC resinate and awaken our souls to the majesty of God and the cry from man for God, that has spanned generations.  Songs of thanksgiving, praise, petitions. Songs of ascent and of the majesty of creation!  

Psalm 24 (ESV), one of my favorites Psalms, is a Psalm of David that says , “Who shall ascend the hill of the Lord? And who shall stand in his holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to what is false and does not swear deceitfully.  He will receive blessing from the Lord and righteousness from the God of his salvation.”  

David is giving instruction here that is clearly saying, before you come before God, before you come to worship Him and pray to Him, seek to stand in His holy place, you better make sure your hands and heart are pure. This is also necessary in order to receive blessing from the Lord. 

David is giving instruction here that is clearly saying, before you come before God, before you come to worship Him and pray to Him, seek to stand in His holy place, you better make sure your hands and heart are pure. This is also necessary in order to receive blessing from the Lord. 

Why is it so important to do this?  Because we are in process of being sanctified.  The word Sanctification (Gk. hagiasmos) means to make holy, or morally and spiritually pure, separated from evil and dedicated to God, consecrated. To be sanctified means we have to be separated from sin.  It is a process, that because of Jesus Christ’s victory over death on the cross, we are set free from sin’s power.  He died so that we can be freed by Him, but now we must choose to live in the freedom He provided. (Romans 6:18).  Daily, we have to examine our hearts and cry out to the Holy Spirit to search us, to purify us, and continue this process of sanctification.  

Think of all the interactions and things that happen throughout your day that can start off as a tiny seed in your mind and then take root in your heart.  How many opportunities do we have to take offense or get angry? Someone cut you off while you were driving.  You had to wait in a long line. The cashier was rude to you when you checked out. Someone didn’t return your text or your phone call.  Someone didn’t like your post on facebook. Your spouse didn’t tell you they loved you today. What about relationships at church?  Relationships at work?  Your family? We are balancing so many relationships and interactions that absolutely require the work of the Holy Spirit to continuously empower us to walk in purity and righteousness. 

And this isn’t just about the “big” sins. And I say “big” in quotes because our human minds love to try and measure and judge the level of sins committed.  What I mean is keeping a pure heart isn’t just about the “big” or “obvious” sins of not lying, committing adultery, or murder.  It’s about diligently keeping our hearts pure, especially from the sneaky sins that can hide in our hearts. These types of sins take consistent tending on our part to guard our heart and stay pure!  We have to continually pull those bitter roots out so those weeds don’t spread. They are also the types of sins that the enemy loves, because of how quickly those weeds can spread and wreak havoc in our hearts! 

God is holy.  He is pure.  And we are humans who, because of sin in our lives, need a savior to make a way for us to have access to God.  And it’s only through Jesus Christ that we have the power over sin in our life, which is why we must daily keep our hearts pure.  God made a way through Jesus Christ for us to access Him, to “ascend the hill of the Lord”, but we have to allow the continuation of the Holy Spirit to purify us as we continue up the mountain towards him, or it will allow an opportunity for the devil!  

Paul says to the church in Ephesus in 4:26-27 “…do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.”  Clearly there is some direction here on the necessity for us to examine our hearts DAILY if we are to not let the sun go down upon our anger or we will give opportunity to the devil!  

Also, in 4:31-32, he says, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along will all malice.  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”  

The MSG translation says it this way, “Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.”

The Passion translation says this, “Lay aside bitter words, temper tantrums, revenge, profanity, and insults.”

Between these three translations, this is a pretty thorough list!  And it’s all summed up at the end, forgive one another as God in Christ forgave you.  We have to make a choice to forgive.  It’s not a feeling, it’s not an emotion, it’s a choice.  And only once we make that choice can our healing begin. How can we be followers of Christ and be burdened and imprisoned by unforgiveness?  It’s the very trap the enemy wants you to get in so he can chain you to the bitterness that will grow rampant in your heart.  How can you ascend the hill of the Lord when you are chained to bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness in your heart?  

In Psalm 51:10, David writes, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me

Somehow, it seems, even though the Psalms are quoted and used immeasurably, the cry to “create in me a clean heart” and “wash me thoroughly from my iniquity” (Psalm 51:2) aren’t quite on the top of the list. I don’t see many magnets or posters with Psalm 51:2 on them! Interestingly enough though, the words “iniquity” and “iniquities” are actually listed almost 60 times in the Psalms!  Iniquity is just another word for sin.  So that list from Ephesians 4:31-32 is Paul warning us from allowing iniquity in our lives. He says, “put it away” from us. 

We love to gravitate towards the majestic Psalms, or the Psalms that speak of God rescuing us and being our help, such as Psalm 23, “The Lord is my shepherd…” or Psalm 121:1 “I lift up my eyes to the hills.  From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.”, which are beautiful and stunning, but we forget the importance of recognizing iniquity in our lives on a daily basis so we can become more like the very one in whom we stand in awe of, that the Psalms so beautifully glorifies, the creator of the heavens and the earth!  

…we forget the importance of recognizing iniquity in our lives on a daily basis so we can become more like the very one in whom we stand in awe of, that the Psalms so beautifully glorifies, the creator of the heavens and the earth!  

David was said to be a Man after God’s own heart, so I would suggest if we want any chance at seeking the heart of God, it would be good for us to heed his advice and recognize the importance of clean hands and pure hearts. 

Prove me, oh Lord, and try me; test my heart for integrity …” is David’s cry in Psalm 26. 

One of the greatest acts of worship you can do before the Lord is to forgive those who have trespassed against you and to submit your heart before Him to be purified and cleansed. Do away with unforgiveness, resentment, anger, bitterness, wrath, jealousy and slander.    

In Matthew 5:8 Jesus says during the Sermon on the Mount, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”  

Perhaps you’ve wondered why you haven’t seen your breakthrough or have felt stuck in moving forward.  It very well may be that the Lord is calling you to cleanse your heart. If you daily do away with iniquities in your heart and keep your heart pure before the Lord, you will make a way for His blessing in your life!  

Pray with meFather God, search me and know me. Examine my heart, I submit to you to make known to me any iniquity, any unforgiveness, wrath, anger, resentment, jealousy…anything that is unclean. I lay it down before you.  Let me be one who will ascend your hill and see your glory come through me! 

Your Voice

I have a voice!

A couple years ago, I was in church.  My infant daughter and I were in the “Mother’s Nursing Room”, which was really just a storage room off of the gymnasium where our church was meeting at the time.  I had just nursed her, and I was cradling her and bouncing her in her carrier.  I had the door cracked so I could hear what was going on in the service.  Our pastor was challenging our congregation to ask God where he was calling us, “Is there a nation God is putting on your heart?”  

I waited and listened for God to speak.  You see, I have a heart for the nations.  A burning heart.  Ever since I was a young girl, I remember the sponsor children my mom would have up on our fridge.  I remember donating many of my toys to send to children overseas.  “Are you sure you want to give all of these?”  My mom asked me, making sure I knew what I was doing, but at the same time I’m sure she was proud of my generosity.  I nodded reassuringly, “Yes.”  I knew there were many children who didn’t have anything, and I was happy to give what I had to help them. 

In my teen years I had the opportunity to travel on month long mission trips to Panama and the Philippines, then traveled to Bangladesh after college.  Each trip burned in my heart God’s love for the nations and my call to do something about it.  I had plans and dreams to become a missionary some day.

Then I had had a season late in high school and college where I struggled with identity, and in that season some of the vision and dreams God had placed inside of me had felt far away. But God is so faithful, and as he restored and healed my heart, he renewed the fire within me for my calling at the same time.  I started carrying many “spiritual babies”, that I held on to and nourished for a long season. Some of you know what I’m talking about, “spiritual babies” are like spiritual dreams and destiny that God puts inside of you to care for and believe in until the right opportunity where he releases or births those “spiritual babies”.  

So, here I was, in the storage room, bouncing and cradling my physical baby, Grace, in her carrier as she fussed, walking in circles and straining to hear in the service.  “Is there a nation that God is putting on your heart?”  I paused and listened, because I knew God had already instilled in me a heart for the nations, from such a young age, and he’d been renewing that desire in my heart for many years now, so I wouldn’t have been surprised if he had whispered a nation to my heart that day. So I listened and waited. Then I heard the sweet voice of the Holy Spirit whisper to my heart.  “Save my daughters.”  I nodded my head as I started feeling the familiar feeling of the burning fire of the Holy Spirit within my gut. I heard it again, and this time my heart beat faster still and the fire within me grew hotter. “Save my daughters.”  I knew this obviously wasn’t a nation, but it was clearly the answer God had for me and I knew with complete certainty that it was the Holy Spirit. I nodded as tears streamed down my cheeks and landed on Grace’s dark full head of wavy hair.  “Yes Lord. Yes, I will!”.  

As I said yes, I saw women flash through my mind.  Women in nations overseas, women in our own nation, women young and women old.  Women who were being kept in bondage and restricted. Lost. Alone.  Women who had been physically and sexually abused, women who had been emotionally abused, and also women who had been deceived for far too long by lies of the enemy.  I saw God’s daughters who had been restricted and held back from the call that God had on their lives.  Women who had been limited from their destiny, their ability to use their giftings, and from their calling.  “Jami, I need to release my daughters.

Now, I want to be clear, this wasn’t a new revelation for me.  As God had been taking me through that season of healing and restoration after I had struggled with identity during my college years, he had begun to reveal some of my calling to me, specifically, he’d been putting on my heart his daughters.  I had been receiving great revelation of his heart for his daughters. That was one of those “spiritual babies” I had carried with me for a long time. I’d been sensing it for a number of years at this point,  but in this exact moment I couldn’t deny the clarity of his voice.  

The Voice of His Daughter’s Being Stolen
As I’ve gone through my own personal healing journey, one of the most significant things God has done for me has been to restore my voice.  For many years I had felt like it had been stolen from me and like I didn’t have much of a voice left.  But God has brought forth my voice again, through his breath of life.  Without it, I would not be able to walk out God’s destiny for my life. 

As God restored my voice, I began to realize that God’s daughter’s voices being stolen from them is not at all uncommon.  As I began to allow God open up my eyes to his heart for the issue, it became so evident. Do you realize how common it is for women to walk in insecurity, comparison, feelings of inferiority or inadequacy?  Be honest with yourself, are those issues you deal with? How about how many women are told they don’t have a place to use their voice? Some are not allowed to teach or lead. Or how many women are trapped in bondage, either through emotional or abusive relationships, or literally held in bondage, or in sex slavery, as many women are around the world and in our own nation?  Women are being silenced. Their voices are being stolen.

The problem with the enemy stealing the voices of God’s daughters is that God needs his daughters to use their voices to bring his glory!  That was his design from the very beginning! He has very specific assignments for his daughters, and he needs them to be released to do it!

Lee Grady, founder of an organization called, “The Mordecai Project”, that since 2003 has been confronting the abuse of women and girls globally, said this at a conference I attended recently.  “There are certain things that will not change until women step into battle.”  Why is that?  Well, because God tells us to pray for his kingdom to come.  Matthew 6:9-10 says we are to pray like this, “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” (emphasis added)

If we are to pray for his kingdom to come and be vessels in which he does it, we all must be able to walk forth in this! Women are created in the image of God, we are designed to be vessels that his love flows out of to reflect him!  His love!  His love that he purposed to flow through the beautiful vessels that women are.  So if women aren’t released or willing to be walking in their part to bring forth God’s kingdom on earth, then there are some things that won’t be fixed.  It’s that simple. Because we need the fullness of who God is to restore the earth.  We have work to do!  

What is beautiful about God’s design of male and female, is that when they come together, in unity, we see the fullness of God’s glory on earth! We are both designed so beautifully in his image, reflecting his character in different ways. Why else would we see the enemy attack, so strategically, the very union God had designed for men and women to come together to reflect the fullness of God himself, in the holy covenant of marriage? Divorce rates have skyrocketed due to selfish convenience, and the very godly design of marriage has been attacked so heavily in this season! Satan knows, if he can break marriages up, or redefine marriage, he is attacking the fullness of the image of God that it is intended to portray.

Additionally, he hates when men and women, as a whole, come together in unity to bring forth the kingdom of God! So he pivots women against men in anger and blame, and men against women. Each thinking the other is the problem. So he creates division. Creates strife. Creates victimhood. Creates ideology of superiority (for either gender). Listen, daughters of God, contrary to what the world may tell you, the enemy is not men. They are our partners! The Bible makes it very clear that the enemy is not flesh in blood! (Ephesians 6:12)

Instead of walking in anger, division, or victimhood, we are called to look to Jesus Christ to bring forth unity, and to trust him alone to bring forth our voices to bring him glory! This can only be done by his power through us! (Zechariah 4:6) We need to stand up against the enemy’s attack on women which tries to keep them from moving into position, from using their voice, from having unity with men in their marriages, in the church and in all areas! You must remember who the enemy is! (1 Peter 5:8)

God’s Heart Breaks for His Daughters
God loves his daughters and he sees the way at which the enemy is strategically attacking them. He’s looking for those of us who will have his eyes to see and recognize this. You also must remember this very important detail, the devil wouldn’t attack women so strategically if he didn’t realize what a threat we are to him. Your voice is a mighty tool!

  • Today, in India, girls and women are discriminated against and murdered, just because they are female. More girls and women have been discriminated against and killed in the past century than any other modern-day genocide. (Invisible Girl Project)
  • 1 in 5 women is a victim of rape or attempted rape in her lifetime (U.N. Development Fund for Women)
  • On average, one girl is aborted in India, every minute, just because she is a girl. (Invisible Girl Project)
  • Infanticide is so widely practiced in India, that little girls in India are 75% more likely to die than little boys. When a daughter is born, family members may kill the baby girl, just because she is a girl.
  • The average age a teen enters the sex trade in the US is 12 to 14 years old. Many victims are runaway girls who were sexually abused as children. (DoSomething.org)
  • According to UNICEF’s June 2019 report, 12 million girls are married before they turn 18 every year, and, and in the developing world, one in nine girls is married before they turn 15. Around the world, 650 million girls and women alive today were married before they were 18.
  • Each year, millions of girls in poverty are kept out of school. Instead, many are forced to stay home and work, while others are made to marry and bear children before they are physically or emotionally ready. (https://www.wvi.org/1000-girls)
  • It is estimated that more than 200 million girls and women alive today have undergone female genital mutilation in the countries where the practice is concentrated. It can cause severe bleeding and problems urinating, and later cysts, infections, as well as complications in childbirth and increased risk of newborn deaths. (World Health Organization)

I understand this list is painful to read.  It’s just a very small fraction of the many difficulties that God’s daughters face. But it’s necessary to see what’s happening. To his beautiful image bearers.  So, when God told me that Sunday morning, as I paced that storage room while bouncing my daughter Grace, my salty tears streaming down my face, that he wants me to “save his daughters”, and he needs to, “release his daughters”, honestly I didn’t and still don’t fully know what this encompasses and what it looks like.  But I know that he needs those of us who are willing to be used, to stand up and lead the charge to bring forth change and bring forth a mighty army of women.  Women who are confident in knowing who they are, knowing they are daughters of the king, and that they have a purpose, a destiny and a calling.  Women who are not afraid to speak, and women who are not afraid to do what it takes to have their voice restored through the fullness and power of the Holy Spirit.  

Lord, I want to be your voice!
So here is my question to you, dear sisters.  Are you willing to stand up and say, “Lord, use me!  I want to be your vessel, I want to be your voice!”?  God has such destiny and amazing plans for each of you (Jeremiah 29:11). 

2 Chronicles 16:9 says this, “For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him.” Did you know God is searching throughout the earth to actually show strong support to those who seek him with their whole hearts?  Who are willing to say, “Use me Lord!”  no matter the risk?  Those who are willing to go through the process of healing and restoration, so that they can have a voice that can be used to bring him glory?!!  And when he finds those precious ones, he will show strong support and favor upon them.  Don’t you long to be one!? One he bestows favor and strong support upon?

Don’t you long to be one!? One he bestows favor and strong support upon?

He has a destiny waiting for you and your voice. He had one from your mother’s womb. (Psalm 139:13-16) You have your own unique calling.  Different from mine.  If you were asked that same question that I was asked on that Sunday morning, maybe God would have whispered a nation into your heart.  Maybe he would have whispered your city’s name, or a different city he wants to send you to.  Maybe he would have whispered your career – some of you have great callings in your career and God wants to use you in mighty ways.  Maybe he would have said it’s being a mom and a wife in this season.  Maybe he would have called you to fight one of those horrific attacks against women on the list I shared with you.

Honestly, the possibilities are endless.  Our callings span as wide as the vastness of his kingdom.  All unique, all intended to have their own place in his mighty army. And each calling has different seasons and assignments within it.  But it’s your calling.  No one else has a calling quite like yours, and no one else has a voice that was designed to say the things God needs you to say in exactly the way you need to say them. In your voice. In your tone.  Don’t let the enemy steal your calling. Don’t let him steal your voice.

No one else has a calling quite like yours, and no one else has a voice
that was designed to say the things God needs you to say
in exactly the way you need to say them.

Loren Cunningham, founder of “Youth with a Mission”, says this in his book, Why Not Women, “Your greatest satisfaction will come as you submit to God and fulfill the purpose you were created for.  God has gifted you to do what He has called you to do.  He’s not unjust.  He would never ask you to do something without giving you the ability to accomplish it, nor would He give you a gift and then tell you to never use it.”  

Here’s my prayer for you today. I pray that you’ll be brave enough to go to him for healing and restoration. In your being, in your marriage, in your family. His power is big enough for all areas of your life. And, that you’ll be brave enough to dream the dreams that he has whispered in your heart.  That you’ll be brave enough to stand up and say, “I have a voice!!”.  Because, beautiful daughter, YOU DO!  The enemy knows it’s only a matter of time before the ones God has called will rise up and not give to the lies any more. The time is now for God to release restoration and healing to the voices of his daughters.  He has work waiting for you.

Pray with me. 
“Father God, I want to stand bravely before you and say, use me!  Do what you need to do to bring healing to my voice.  I want to feel your Holy Spirit breath your breath of life back into my being and bring forth my purpose, my voice, and my destiny.  Search me and know me oh Lord, let me be one whose heart is blameless towards you.”